• Home
  • |
  • Archives
  • |
  • Contact

Am I A Douchebag?

By Steve

So, I don’t have a cell phone provider at the moment. I have a monthly pre-pay right now with a Vermont number, and I didn’t bother setting up a land line at my new digs. I figure I’ll go cell phone only, at least in the near future. (I’ve never owned a cell phone, but figure this is as good a time as any. Yeah, I’m that one guy in the world without a cell phone.)

The question is this: The iPhone is coming out in a week, and since I don’t have to worry about contracts or any existing numbers/providers, I could easily get one. (Er, assuming I can actually get one. And assuming I can actually afford it.) But does owning an iPhone turn me into a douchebag?

Every morning on my drive into work, I see a guy riding a Segway. He’s always on a cellphone, leaning back with his arms crossed. He looks like a total douche. (I’m pretty sure it’s the crossed arms; it makes him look sort of smug, like, “Look at me, I have a Segway!” He probably works at the Microsoft office nearby.)

Not that we should care whether or not others view us as douchebags, but one of my biggest reservations about owning Apple products is the cult of Apple. These things are appliances, not lifestyle choices. Will people see me with an iPhone and think I’m a douche? Will they suddenly want to start talking to me about their MacBook Pro, and how much OS/X is better than Vista?

Or am I a douchebag for worrying that people will think I’m a douchebag?

File Under Consumer Whore | 9 Comments 

 

9 Responses to “Am I A Douchebag?”

  1. Troy Goodfellow Says:
    June 23rd, 2007 at 3:42 pm

    I’m the other guy without a cell phone, at least until recently when my wife insisted we get a pay as you go deal. I haven’t actually used it yet.

    I wouldn’t worry about looking like a jerk. Why rule of thumb is it’s safe to say that a few people already think you are a douchebag. What’s a few more anonymous haters?

    As for the iPhone, it just seems unnecessarily multifaceted for me.

  2. Sparky Says:
    June 23rd, 2007 at 4:11 pm

    Nooooo..don’t believe the hype. Steve Jobs is and always has been a big fat liar. Plus, once you get an iphone you have to get a recumbent bicycle and carry a man-purse and listen to the White Stripes.

    /I have a Virgin pay-as-you-go cellphone in a drawer somewhere, and use it once or twice a year.

  3. Karen Says:
    June 23rd, 2007 at 9:00 pm

    Its a trap, dont do it, this will indeed make you a douche and turn you into one of the dreaded eastside suburbanites that all people in Seattle despise. You might as well get a spray on tan, marry a blonde and coach a soccer team while your at it

  4. Lizard Dude Says:
    June 23rd, 2007 at 9:33 pm

    Don’t you pay attention Sparky? He already bought freakin’ tickets to the White Stripes and has crushes on both of them. I’m surprised the man doesn’t already have a special pre-release iPhone tucked into his purse.

  5. Steve Says:
    June 23rd, 2007 at 10:05 pm

    I would like to point out that at least one of the White Stripes is, in fact, a woman.

    (Sparky said “virgin,” huh huh.)

  6. GyRo567 Says:
    June 23rd, 2007 at 10:37 pm

    Yeah, I’m that one guy in the world without a cell phone.

    I don’t have a cell phone. =)

    Will people see me with an iPhone and think I’m a douche? Will they suddenly want to start talking to me about their MacBook Pro, and how much OS/X is better than Vista?

    On that point, I think you can start talking DOS & deep level Windows modding to make them turn and run away in fear.

    As for the iPhone, it just seems unnecessarily multifaceted for me.

    Indeed. For that money, I’d rather buy a DS with a DS-X 2GByte (twice over) and borrow other people’s cell phones in cases of emergency.

    Personally, my biggest problem with Apple is that they’re hogging all the good video editing software. DVD video editing on Womble is… Well it’s not high end…

  7. Troy Goodfellow Says:
    June 23rd, 2007 at 11:10 pm

    I think the idea of Steve coaching a soccer team would make an excellent sitcom.

  8. Sparky Says:
    June 24th, 2007 at 1:03 pm

    Lizard Dude: The White Stripes thing was a joke…guys who ride recumbent bikes listen to Negativland and Robert Fripp.

    Steve’s White Stripes fixation must be caused by some sort of weird vitamin deficiency or childhood trauma. I can’t explain it.

    Who’s going to play Steve on the “Coach Steve” sitcom? Maybe Richard Moll from “Night Court”.

  9. Troy Goodfellow Says:
    June 24th, 2007 at 1:33 pm

    I was thinking that guy who played Charlotte’s second husband on Sex in the City.

Leave a Reply

archived entry

  • Post Date :
  • Saturday, Jun 23rd, 2007 at 3:28 pm
  • Category :
  • Consumer Whore
  • Do More :
  • You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

google me

     

stuff

  • Baseball (3)
    • Red Sox (2)
  • Best of 2008 (6)
  • Consumer Whore (7)
  • Games (22)
  • Holiday of Gaming (3)
  • Misc (9)
  • Phiction Phriday (4)
  • Rambling (3)
  • Reviews (38)
    • Movies (14)
    • Muzak (17)
      • I Love This Song (1)
  • Travel (8)
  • Work Work Work (7)

monthly

  • January 2012 (1)
  • June 2009 (1)
  • May 2009 (1)
  • March 2009 (3)
  • February 2009 (1)
  • January 2009 (3)
  • December 2008 (3)
  • March 2008 (1)
  • February 2008 (3)
  • January 2008 (5)
  • December 2007 (5)
  • November 2007 (4)
  • October 2007 (2)
  • August 2007 (7)
  • July 2007 (7)
  • June 2007 (13)
  • May 2007 (10)
  • April 2007 (15)
  • March 2007 (7)

pages

  • About
  • Validate My Existence

RSS feed me

  • Posts | Comments

links

  • Flash of Steel
  • Go Fug Yourself
  • The Deadbeat Club

whoring

Copyright Me. All rights reserved. Don't mess with Texas. Live free or die.