After many years of non-use, a post. I done wroted a book, y’all.

Like many, I have an impossible crush on Tina Fey. And possibly a man-crush on Alec Baldwin, particularly after his “therapy” scene with Tracy Jordan a few weeks ago. (It has to be seen to be believed.)

But tonight’s episode contained the funniest, nastiest line. One that only a few people could possibly get.

Liz Lemon’s family visits her in NYC, and her father Dick actually says, “It wouldn’t be a Lemon party without old Dick.”

Now, to get this, you’d have to be familiar with “lemon party.” And if you’re not, you don’t want to type that into Google. Trust me. Some things can’t be un-seen.

I finally broke down and installed a traffic plug-in for WordPress, so now I can see how many people are reading (Thousands? No shit?) and how they’re getting here.

The latter is what fascinates me. The search engine inquiries that get people here, whoa…. For example:

People Want Better Abs
how did the men in 300 get their abdominals
300 movie abs
“300″ abs from the movie
300 movie abs
get abs like 300

People Really Like Searching for 300
is 300 the gayest movie ever
300 movie CODPIECE
300 oracle nipples (more…)

This is where I was last night. It was an evening full of happy sounds and confetti flying all about the room. (This video really takes off around the 3-minute mark.) It was… inspiring.

(Note: I didn’t shoot the video or anything.)

Because nothing’s funnier to Americans than foreign languages, here’s a wonderfully pointless website: Stockholm’s subway map translated into literal English

Don’t forget to get off the train at Rock Star, because you don’t want to be in Gruel Village after dark. And if you get injured, you might want to avoid Awful Village Hospital.

I’m not one to bad mouth TV that much, but there are so many things wrong with this new show based on those GEICO cavemen ads that ABC is unleashing on the public. Not the least of which is the description of the show, which actually says it’s a “thought-provoking social commentary on race relations in today’s America.”

The show could turn out well, but this clip is the inverse of funny. I am looking forward to the possibility of other commercials being turned into TV shows. Who’s ready for “Head On: Apply Directly to Forehead: New York.”

I figured this would happen. Yeah, I rarely update my blog. I suck.

I saw 28 Weeks Later, which was some “good shit,” as they say. I was initially sort of “OK” with it, but I think that on reflection, it’s better than I initially thought. Without giving anything away, if you throw out the idea that there’s some uber-zombie out there who keeps reappearing and instead sub in the kids merely seeing him everywhere (and there’s one reference to this), it works a whole lot better as there’s a wee-bit too coincidence otherwise.

I’m on the road again this week. Should have some news soon.

Bunny TimeI had no idea it was Easter until I went to Staples and found out that I couldn’t actually go to Staples since it’s Easter. I’m fairly certain this has leveled me from “lapsed Catholic” to “burn in hell heathen.”

Isn’t Easter the time of year we celebrate Christ’s resurrection into a cute bunny rabbit with a pancake on his head?

On the plus side, I woke up and turned on the TV to find a lovely, heartwarming tale of humanity’s kindness playing on HBO, Hotel Rwanda.

Google AdSense is pretty funny. (more…)